But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
