She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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