we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
