everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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