im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
