Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
