Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
