I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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