Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
someone owes me an orgasm
this just has baby written all over it
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
