update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
