Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
