hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
