I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Randomize