I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
