He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Randomize
