Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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