I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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