I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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