Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
