you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
