Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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