How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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