And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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