Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
