so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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