Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
