we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
