my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Randomize
