they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Oh and itβs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ππππ¬π³π
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