I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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