I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
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