Banned from zoo.
Again?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
