so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
