Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I wish I only lived at night.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Randomize
