im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
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