It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Everclear isn't food dammit
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize