You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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