Plan B is the new Plan A
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Randomize
