I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
that's an acceptable place to lick
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
