Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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