you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
