also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
