I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
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