Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
