oh god the rape fog is back!
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize