6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
