i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
