Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
