wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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