I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
