I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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