He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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