i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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