I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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