My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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