the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
