Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Randomize
