wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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