Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
