girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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