fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
