Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
