I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
