how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
