there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
