Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
