please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
